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15 August, 2013

Trolling by the Patriarch

While all of Russia is still recovering from the emotional shock over the events surrounding Alexei Navalny, its spiritual leaders are again announcing the end of the world as they speak to their “flock”. This time, the Apocalypse has stealthily snuck up from behind in the form of evil homosexuals who have forced the civilized world to legalize same-sex marriage

Patriarch Kirill cleared his throat of dust and heaved a sigh of relief after seeing the Pussy Riot girls – a deadly enemy – neutralized. But then he again felt uneasy as he distinctly smelled something else was awry. It is known that his olfactory system, just like that of any other official in structures close to Vladimir Putin, tends to register dangerous smells in places strangely remote from the true centre of evil. From this perspective, it is small wonder that the leader of the Russian Orthodox Church believes that the coming Apocalypse will be caused by a large, dangerous and harmful band called “gays” that is driving this world to destruction. “This is a very dangerous apocalyptic symptom,” the Patriarch said about legalization of same-sex marriage in some rotten European countries that have lost all traces of spirituality.

The religious leader must be convinced that God is punishing the world with the Apocalypse based on territory and ethnicity: “We must do everything we can to prevent sin from ever becoming established as a state law in the vast space of Holy Rus’, because this would mean that the people have stepped on the path of self-destruction.”

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The patriarch knows with absolute precision what it is sinful and what is not. For a person to join another person of the same sex in marriage is a sin. To sue your neighbour demanding millions as compensation for damaging a plush flat owned by the patriarch is not a sin. To join “a symphony with the authorities” (the term invented by Kirill) is not a sin, either. Needless to say, passing the Dima Yakovlev bill, under which thousands of ill Russian children will lose even the slightest hope of a new family, medical treatment and survival, is not a sin.

Indeed, these children will be dying in the territory of Russia, i.e., in a blessed Orthodox land. People have half-forgotten how Kirill recently spoke against treatment of Russian drug addicts by American doctors: it is better for them to kick the bucket by a Russian fence than convalesce in an American bed. It is better to live out their short and hard remaining time on Earth as an Orthodox believer than impudently waste life as a healthy Protestant.

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In his sermon in Red Square, Patriarch Kirill made a statement about an allegedly powerful gay lobby in Russia, which is nothing but plain and simple trolling. A new sermon genre. A new face of the Russian Orthodox Church. He did not speak about corruption, gluttony, adultery or even pride. Indeed, are these sins? What is a handful of money-grubbers who are quietly stealing billions of dollars in the territory of Holy Rus’ compared to a horrible band of gays who are a source of danger to the entire Orthodox world? What are the good old unjust courts compared to a monstrous horde of homosexuals who have challenged the limitations imposed on the freedom of their sex choice?

What a surprise that the Patriarch decided to slam gays just now! Not yesterday or tomorrow, but exactly when the story of the Navalny court case was assuming the scale of a natural disaster in the eyes of the authorities. Far from a pure coincidence, this is a typical case of political trolling: if things are going the wrong way, you need to change the subject. This technology became quite clear the following day when, following in the footsteps of Patriarch Kirill, Vsevolod Chaplin, a favourite figure of the Orthodox public and a full-time buffoon of the Russian patriarchy, lambasted gays and their supporters. He eagerly joined the race by giving an interview on the same topic to a Russian TV company. “If sexual deviation can be called marriage, it means that lying will be acceptable very soon; it will be possible to put a person under total surveillance and use his private life for political purposes, as is the case in the West now. Very soon, it will be possible to kill the elderly, just like unborn children can be killed now,” the spokesman said, elaborating on Kirill’s thought.

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Curiously, why did he only mention only the unborn children? Is it perhaps because the Dima Yakovlev law applies only to those already born?

That same day, Nikita Mikhalkov, another “pastor of the Russian land”, declared gays to be enemies of cinematography: in the countries where same-sex marriage is legalized, true spiritual films will never be made. In a word, an attack was launched on all fronts against the enemies of Orthodoxy as represented by sex minorities.

Indeed, Russia is a wonderful country – developed, powerful and problem-free. It is a good place to live for pensioners and orphans, government employees and migrants, doctors and farmers. Nice Russian cars speed along excellent highways built by wise and thoughtful governors. All problems were solved a long time ago. The only thing that remains is to uproot sodomy, which makes the Patriarch together with Chaplins and Mikhalkovs so sick that even an extra Land Rover is no consolation.

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